Is nursery of any benefit to toddlers?
This is a subject that has been preying on my mind recently – if you follow me on twitter, you will be aware of my dilemma.
I have just removed SnugBoy#2 from his nursery as he was becoming increasingly unhappy. I have no idea why this was – he has been going happily for the last 14 months, but in the last 2 month he has started asking not to go, telling me he wants to stay at home, that he is not happy. But he can’t seem to tell me why. Very frustrating. I started taking him there so he had an opportunity to play with other children, rather than as a childcare provider. I am very lucky to be able to work from home and have the option of whether to send him or not, I realise.
After deliberating for weeks about the best thing to do, and whether he would come through this (probable) phase, Mr Snug I decided that I couldn’t see the benefit in leaving him there when he was just spending the time being miserable.
So, yesterday I gave them his notice. I hope this is the right thing to do (why does parenting not get easier as children get older??) Now I am investigating all the toddler and play groups that I can, to ensure he still has valuable time with other children. I do think it is important that children spend time with their peers, and learn to play, share and communicate effectively. Just not neccessarily at the expense of his happiness.
I will no doubt be keeping you informed of his progress, but I would love to hear of your experiences and thoughts on this somewhat emotive subject…
June 17th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
It’s so hard being a parent, you always of course want to do the right thing for your child.
My daughter goes to nursery 2 days per week and has done since she was 10 months old. She loves it, has made friends and basically does so many things that i wouldn’t just have the time to do at home with her. It’s good for me, and i don;t think i am being selfish in saying this. She’s a very bright girl and i feel nursery has helped with her development enormously.
You must do what is right for you and your child.
Although my sister did the exact same thing about nursery & when her daughter went to school it made the process much harder because my neice thought she couls stop going there too!
June 17th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
I think nursery is of benefit, so long as your child is (mostly) happy there. Ethan (3.5) LOVES his nursery, asks to go at the weekend, gets excited when we take him. He thrives on the social side, and it’s good at keeping him occupied. Ysella (2 in a few weeks’) enjoys it once she’s there, but hates going. After a year, we still get tears on occasion when we drop her off (she’s just moved rooms, so at the moment it’s awfully tough on her, she doesn’t do change well).
I work full-time (my husband does too, but staggered hours mean that the children are only there 4 x 0.5 days a week). If I was at home, would I send her still? Posssibly not. I don’t know. I do think it’s good for her, and she loves it after the initial separation anxiety.
I’d love to say that I could stay at home and give both my children 100% of the attention they need, or even 80%, but I can’t. I’d love to homeschool them, I believe that children should be cared for primarily (but not exclusively) at home until they’re 7 or 8 years old. But again, society just isn’t set up for this.
It’s a really tough thing. And a very personal choice. So long as you’re putting your family’s needs, and your child’s needs, first, then I don’t think there’s a right or a wrong way to go on this one.
June 17th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Thanks for the replies, ladies.
That’s exactly why I am looking for playgroups – I know I can’t give him all the things I would like him to experience at home, in terms of both social interaction and activities I just can’t do at home. He will be going to preschool at the same school SnugBoy#1 is at, from Janurary, which I have a gut feeling he will be much happier at. Fingers crossed!